A chat with ... world beard champion/'Whisker Wars' star Jack Passion

Hi, Jack. How are you?

I'm always good.

So what exactly is your title? How should I refer to you in this piece?

Well, in the show, I guess it's "multiple-time world beard champion." I like to use the terminology "best-selling author/handsome man."

I feel like I should congratulate you on your beard. It's quite an accomplishment.

Well, thank you. But it's not all about the biggest beard, in competition and in daily life, too.

Do you know the dimensions of your beard, though?

I know that it's 24 inches long. And it's wide -- it covers up my torso. If I lost some weight, it would just be, like, head, beard, legs.

That sounds like a cartoon character.

Well, reality show, cartoon -- they're not that different.

How long did it take you to grow?

You know, one thing about Whisker Wars is there's kind of this unspoken quarrel between ideals. And I'm really into really taking meticulous care of your beard: You know, if you're gonna have a huge beard, it's gotta look good. Otherwise, you're gonna just kind of fall into the category of negative facial hair stereotypes and cliches. And this is so important to me that I wrote a book about grooming your beard and growing healthy hair. So I cut it; I cut my beard just like if you have long hair you get your hair done every once in awhile.

So I've had this beard that I'm wearing today for eight years. But it takes about four and a half or five years to get to the length that it has.

I've seen a couple episodes, and parts are much more serious than I expected.

Yeah. You know, I got in trouble the first time I competed, because the Germans thought I didn't take it seriously. And there was this big thing, like, "We don't want any of these punk American kids showing up and degrading our hair contest." So I had to start taking the competition very seriously, but as you can probably tell from watching the show, I don't take myself seriously at all.

You mention endorsements at one point. Do you have any endorsement deals?

Yeah, I endorse a grass-fed meat company in California, Hearst Ranch Beef. ... It's small stuff. Like, I don't have an Aveda endorsement, which would be probably the most functional for me.

As for romantic relationships, does having a two-foot beard help or hinder things?